By: Robert D. Hill, Ph.D.
Edited by: Justin Hill
Valuing yourself and others involves:
It also involves identifying positive behaviors and actions in your partner.
Express I-statements such as: “I appreciate...I especially enjoy...I love you because...”.
It's also important to receive the expression of others graciously and authentically. It may seem modest, heroic, or self-sacrificing to discount or brush away a show of appreciation from another.
Words like, "it was nothing...don't worry about it...don't give it another thought...," but this discounting can often send the unintended message that you don't value the other person's opinion or that you don't believe what the other person is telling you. It has no value.
A simple, "thanks, that means a lot to me," is a powerful and affirming statement.
It also reinforces, for you, your good qualities. When you tell someone that you are grateful for them, it makes you feel better. This is what is happening when someone affirms you as well.
Found in: Hill, R.D. (2005). Seven Strategies for Positive Aging
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